Sexy Is as Sexy Feels

                       

I did a shoot recently for the Big Tights Company and it got me thinking about sex.
Noooo get your dirty little mind out the gutter!!
 It was just modelling some of their stockings, but the reason it made me wonder was purely because of how sexy I actually felt !
So that's me in the picture and I have to say I think I look damn fine but there's allot of people that will look at the same picture and will think the opposite and it got me thinking...
Sex sells.
Sex literally sells everything these days.
From the clothes we wear to the things we do to the food we eat.
And to be perfectly honest I'm not a prude, so I really don't have an issue with that, I'm all about the sex.
What I do have an issue with is how the world is being brainwashed into thinking that sexy can only be one body type. You know what I mean .
I'm talking about Ass, Boobs and just no fat anywhere else.
I hate that nowadays we let other people determine how sexy we are . It's crazy because what one person views as sexy another doesn't! It's purely down to personal opinion!!
Now I'm not bringing this subject up for no reason.
It's just that I can honestly say, it was the first time I had ever worn a set of stockings!!! Mainly because I'm not about that chaffing life. ( you know what I'm talking about ) .
I don't know whether it's just been that not many companies cater exclusively for plus sizes like BTC do or if it's because the media tells us that big isn't sexy.

But I can tell you that when I pulled those soft shiny stockings up and clipped on the suspenders I felt ...powerful. I felt so damn sexy it almost forced confidence on me. And I suddenly realised.  I don't need anyone else to tell me I'm sexy I need ME to tell me I'm sexy. Now don't get me wrong it certainly helps if someone else says your beautiful but I've quickly realised one thing.

We are as sexy as we feel not as sexy as we're told.

Other people's opinions about our bodies only have as much power as we give them. We can either listen to the media in the background telling us we're too skinny/fat/tall/short/dark/pale or we can listen to ourselves.

So if you find yourself questioning your sexiness, ask yourself;
Am I doing this because I don't think I'm sexy or am I doing this becuase THEY don't think I am?

Be confident.  Be yourself.  Be happy.  And seriously Just Be... Your Way xxx

Dating While Fat | Lies and Sort of Lies

Elle and I have tonnes of terrible dating stories haha let me know what some of yours are :)

           

Tits Don't Count on a Fat Girl

So I was shown this little nugget of joy the other day and found it so ridiculous and disgusting I had to write an article about it !!

Body confidence has only been a legitimate campaign in recent years, with activists and bloggers paving the way to show that different is still beautiful. Admittedly we have a long way to go before every single person is accepted for who they are, but we've made huge strides since a few years ago.

One thing I have noticed is that most of the body confidence boosts are aimed towards women. Now in allot of ways this does made sense, if only because society and media seems to be particularly critical of the fairer sex. 

However more and more recently I've noticed just how much pressure men are under to have a perfect body. Now I'm sure that this pressure hasn't only just started, but for me personally I've only noticed it in the last few months.

Now. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining about Charlie Hunnam or Brock O'hurn and all that sexiness, but the problem I've noticed is that boys and men see that and think that kind of body is normal , that having those kind of muscles are normal. And it really isn't . The majority of people aren't 6"7ish with hair like a Greek god and arms like bloody Thor ( that's Brock.... yum), And they shouldn't feel they need to look like that!

Not to say if a man genuinely enjoys working out, wants to get some muscles to boost his self esteem and that is going to make him happy, then he cant do that . I'm talking about the men who are pressured into going to the gym from their friends because they're thin , or forced and shamed into running miles on a treadmill because they're fat. If a guy is skinny or large and perfectly happy with themselves the way they are, then they should be allowed to just be them!!

Telling a man that his abs don't count because he's skinny and didn't get them in the gym is so ludicrous, I don't think I really need to expand on explain how stupid that is to be perfectly honest.

And I truly can't even say the amount of times I've been told that my boobs don't count because I'm fat so they're not real boobs they're just fat. Firstly. I assure you , They're real. Not to mention they were there before I was fat. Secondly boobs are made out of tissue and... you guessed it ... fat!!!

 Its like telling someone that the clothes they're wearing - while nice - don't count because they're not on a model. Or that the new alloys on their car doesn't count because the car isn't new. Its mental!!!

My message is basically this. These kind of memes and jokes are just not funny. They tell people that who they are is not acceptable unless it fits their standards. That who they are and the body they have isn't worth anything unless it was gained a certain way. No- one has any right to have that kind of ownership over another persons body! And even if you don't create these jokes, liking them on Facebook or laughing about them makes you just as bad as the people who did.

So if you have abs but a fat as, or boobs and a big belly or yes abs but no muscle anywhere else on your body; just hold your middle fingers up with pride and give a big fuck you to the haters, because its not your tits that don't count, its their opinions.  If YOU are happy then who cares what they think? Flash your boobs and flash your abs and Just be...Your way xx

Changing The Pressure to Change

 I write often about how unacceptable it is for people to assume they can have an opinion about my body - I try to endorse confidence and loving yourself for who you are.

But I think people feel this is only exclusive for bigger people . That only people who are considered curvier than they should be by societies standards should be encouraged to love themselves. That isn't the case.
Obviously there is still the need to break those stereotypes that society create for us, but more and more recently our plus size beauties are being encouraged to embrace their curves. Actors like; Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy with her own clothing line. Models like Tess Holiday and Ashley Graham  have paved the way for curvier women to feel as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside.
 However,  something I noticed recently made me wonder. Are we leaving some people off the train to self- confidence?
  I know a boy. He's not a friend and I don't know him that well. I do know that he is very thin. And I don't mean the kind of thin that looks like a model ,I mean very very thin. He was told by his new girlfriend that, she didn't really date people that thin normally and it kind of put her off. She then proceeded to encourage him to put on weight to the point where he was eating twice the amount he normally would and of course gaining pounds.

Now don't get me wrong if someone wants to put on or loose weight that is completely their prerogative- if someone is unhealthily thin or fat to the point that medical intervention is necessary then they need all the encouragement they can to get healthy.

My question is how is that scenario any different to a man dating an overweight woman and telling her she was a bit too fat for what he normally finds attractive, to the point when she begins to loose weight to please him.

 I personally don't see one. There is absolutely no difference in those two scenarios. To tell someone that you'll be with them but that they don't fit your usual standard of beauty and then to encourage then to change themselves, to please you, is just fundamentally wrong.

The thing is his girlfriend does like him allot, and does care about him and in her mind she's doing what she thinks is best. And maybe he is unhealthily thin and needs to gain weight. But that isn't the point.

The point is that every single person, no matter what they look like, should feel accepted for who they are. They should feel like they don't have to change themselves for anyone. They should feel beautiful in the body they were born with, or the body they choose to have.

So lets all be determined to encourage every single person we meet, whether they're fat , thin, tall, short or just a different ethnicity to ourselves that they're beautiful they way they are, they're worthy the way they are and that at the end of the day all you really need is to Just Be... Your Way xx