Feeling my Femininity

 I didn't forget about you guys!!!! We've been sorting out our videos and I started a new job ( yey!!) but don't worry I'm back!!
So I went to a party. A private party no less.
But it wasn't like just a party and its pretty much taken me over a week to figure out what I actually wanted to say about it.
This party. It had a very specific entry requirement.
You had to be fat.
Oh yes people!
I attended Big Girls Paradise in London last Saturday where you either need to be fat or like fat to attend.
Straight off the bat lets just address the name. I don't think I've ever cringed so hard in my life. Big Girls Paradise just sounds so....cringe! I genuinely can't think of a better word. Why couldn't it be called something generic like; 'The Big little black dress' party? Or just; 'The Basement' or a whole host of any other names other than 'Big Girls Paradise'.

Not to mention!!
It wasn't a damn paradise!! There was genuinely a 10 -1 female to male ratio, and those are not great odds. I struck out. Once, and got passed over. To be honest it pretty much set the tone for the entire night.
From the outset I noticed things that were very different from an every day party, the first was the entrance fee. It was quite sad really. Now this isn't just because I'm broke right now and 15 quid is my weekly food shop. The reason behind the high entrance fee was to discourage people from coming to the party and making fun of the girls there. The fact that they even had to factor this into their planning is just very telling. No one should have to be worried that they're going to be made the butt ( see what I did there?)of someone joke just because they're trying to have fun.

The thing is, its a genuine concern. The party organiser was actually very smart for setting it up. And as someone who has had the piss taken out of her, on more than one occasion, I certainly appreciated it. However no one should have to worry that people are going to come into their party and insult their guests because they  happen to be bigger that other people. Its actually crazy!

But we live in a society that for some reason thinks, if you're over a size 16 you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy yourself. That you shouldn't feel comfortable enough to, you should always be wary of being "that fat drunk girl".

I'll have it be made known I might be a size 20 but I love to dance, and I can move my ass like nobody's business on the dance floor.

So, and here is my thing. I went to this club and I tore it up on the dance floor and genuinely felt amazing. I'd actually forgotten how much I freaking love to dance!! I love it ! Its such a rush! But why in the hell should I feel that the only way to be able to let my hair down is to go to a party aimed at fat girls? Why can't I feel I can do that at just a regular everyday club?

And the answer is simple.

Because I genuinely just don't feel comfortable. As I'm in the queue with all the girls in their skimpy dresses half my size and their sky high heels, and I'm covered from head to toe; because no one needs to be seeing my rolls shake all up close and personal in a club. I just don't feel I belong there. I don't feel like I can just hang my jacket up find me some old school R&B and drop it like its hot. Whereas at the other party I really could. I, for the first time in a very long time, felt completely at ease. I felt confident and sexy, I didn't feel that people were judging me for allowing my ass to bump into them. I could just be me and have fun and not sit at the table tapping my foot and wishing I felt comfortable enough to get up and dance.

One thing I will say. Going to the Big Girls Paradise made my confidence soar. I actually walked up to 3 men and just asked them to dance, without any fear of rejection or any worry his mates were gonna be joking around and making fun of him dancing with the fat girl. It was almost a transcendent experience. I felt alive, desirable and completely in control. The fact that I had to be in a club specifically aimed at fat girls to feel in control of my sexuality is the problem.

Since when did we start allowing society to dictate who we are as women. Or what we should look like to be women. I've never had anyone tell me "Justice you're too fat to be a woman" but I've been telling myself that I can't express my confidence in my womanhood because I'm fat. Society suggests it and we tell it to ourselves over and over again until we think: "Well I better keep my jacket on and just die of heat stroke in case my dress shows my rolls" or even "I want to cut my hair but I'll loose my femininity if I do so ill just leave it ".
The only thing I can say if f@"# these bloody standards! No-one has the damn right to tell me how to express my womanhood. No-one has the right to feel uncomfortable in my own skin because I don't fit their ideal woman. I'm who I bloody well want to be!

So flip off these idiots and tell those bell-ends to shove it. You want to be comfortable in who you are? Go be comfortable. You want to embrace your femininity? Wear that short skirt and get those boobs out! You want to go shake your cellulite on the dance floor you bloody well do it!! All you've got to do is Just Be.. Your Way xx

One Size Doesn't Fit All

"Oh he's probably into blonde skinny girls anyway"
How many times have we heard this or even said it ourselves?

For some reason if we don't fit a traditional category of beauty, we seem to think that when it comes to dating, its best not to put ourselves out there because they wont be interested anyway.
I myself have had these thoughts on several occasions.
Why in the hell would he want a short, fat, black girl with issues when he could have anyone else?

The thing is that I haven't actually found it at all difficult to date, found it difficult to find decent guys-maybe, but not to actually date. Yet I still struggle to believe that good looking men would be interested in me, even though actual experience has proved otherwise. The question is why? Why do we automatically assume that as a bigger woman, thinner woman, taller woman, darker woman, or just anyone who is different from the social contract of beauty that people wont be interested?

Probably because it seems like they aren't. Maybe you'll be passed over time and again for the people around you, or don't seem to be able to find anyone who actually likes you and not your best friend. The amount of times I've had guys be interested in me and then loose interest as soon as they see my best friend. Guys will be so disgusting that they expect me to set them up. With my best friend. Right. I'll get straight on that.

Unfortunately, and I think perhaps this is why dating is so difficult sometimes, we still have a problem where differences are fetishized. Seen as taboo. So a man will lust after a 'dark skinned beauty' but won't admit to his friends that he likes black girls or will search out BBW pornography but will refuse to give a bigger girl the time of day. And as much as this really sucks some major goat balls, its a sad but true fact. The trick is to weed out the one's who'll see you in private but wont admit to dating you and the ones who'll walk proudly down the street with you on their arm.

I found that Internet Dating was pretty much the easiest way to date ever. You have a picture of you on there, you tell them you're a big girl and exactly what you want and while you have a number of guys convinced  they can change your mind, " because they've never dated a black/fat girl before" ( why this is my problem I have no idea, especially since you know 'date' is code for 'sleep with'. Bitch please!) for the most part if they start up a conversation, you know they find you attractive. And, you know, if they turn out to  be a dick you can just block 'em and ghost their nasty asses.

The thing is not everyone wants to Internet date. And I will admit not everyone on these sites is entirely genuine. But to be perfectly honest if you haven't entered this new phase of dating and are still expecting to meet someone in  a bar, I have no sympathy if you complain you can't find anyone that likes you. If you haven't actually used all the avenues available to you and are then going to sit home and mope about how single you are then this post isn't really for you. All I can say is get over yourself and do something about it. If, on the other hand, you've tried blind dates, Internet dates, set up dates and every type of dating under the sun and have still not found someone? Then the following message is for you....

YOU WILL. DON'T WORRY. TAKE A BREATH. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

There are 7 billion  people on the planet. I can guarantee there is someone out there who likes you. However I can understand how constant disappointments can be disheartening. My advice would be to take a step back, take some time to yourself, most times people come into our lives when were not looking for them. And if someone is showing interest be bold! They wouldn't be speaking to you if they weren't interested.

We need to stop asking ourselves why would this guy/girl be interested in us, and ask ourselves why wouldn't they be. Why the hell wouldn't they be? Just because your beauty is different to others doesn't mean you're not beautiful in your own right. We need to be confident in ourselves, confident that we are worth more than pity dates or 'last resorts'.

So forget putting yourself down because I assure you that in your lifetime enough people will do it for you and Just Be...Your Way xx

calling out cat-callers

So a couple of days ago I'd had a long day traveling, I was missing my man so I decide I need a burger.
Nothing glamorous just a good old cheeseburger, I throw on clothes, didn't even bother with a bra, and draped myself with a huge scarf and cape (to hide my bra-less boobs of course)
Not even 1 minute into my journey I see two men walking towards me on the same side of the street. As they approach I instinctively look at my phone and walk faster (probably the most go-to response for most women today).
One of the men as I'm approaching calls out:
"Hey baby, nice body" and proceeds to staaaaare at my chest and ass as I walk past.
I didn't reply, I had a burger that needed my time and attention, but it made me think.
Am I interested in this man? No.
Did I give any indication I wanted his opinion on my body? Nope.
Would he have ever done the same thing had my boyfriend been walking with me? Nope again.
And.
Why the hell did I not give this guy a piece of my mind!?
What he said was inappropriate and uninvited however I did nothing, I just put my head down and hustled off.
Why?
Because I'm used to it.
I have received a stupidly large amount of men's opinions of my body during my lifetime. Starting, as is often the case, with my father, progressing to boys at school and settling to what I receive today, opinions being administered just randomly in the street.
I've had whistles. comments, insults, 'compliments',  been followed,  had my number been demanded from me, even been grabbed.

The problem is for some reason when it happens to a 'big' girl its not seen as offensive as if it happened to a small petite girl. Is this because people feel we can 'handle' ourselves because we're bigger? That no-one is really going to do anything because they could 'easily pick someone better' or perhaps that we should be grateful that someone actually finds us attractive?

Every now and again the subject of cat calling will pop up here or there, usually in relation to some sort of attack where sexual discrimination is prevalent. Most recently the spate of sexual attacks in Germany. But people rarely put any focus on the everyday problems women in general face.
They choose to believe that its just these random acts of sexual violence, placing any blame they can except the way society has moulded boys and men to think they have the right to an opinion on our bodies. In the case of Germany it's refugees, apparently its all the refugees who are sexual deviants, of course it couldn't be that they are just trying to escape a war torn country and be safe.

I even had one idiot actually tell me that ' well you don't see English or European people grabbing girls in the street' EXCUSE ME!!?? Are you mentally deficient!?

More recently there have been a few social media campaigns exposing schools who instead of expecting their young men to have respect and control have imposed ridiculous dress codes. Once again placing the blame on the girl who showed her shoulders rather than on the man who grabbed her ass. We need more campaigns like this to bring to light the unfairness of it all.

What I don't understand is why we are supposed to be flattered? Why should I be flattered that a man I don't know decided to call out that he liked my 'fat ass' and could show me how a 'real man handles a big woman'. And I definitely don't understand why I especially should be flattered. Did I somehow give the impression that because of my size I was specifically needing this mans 'compliment'.

If a woman is not seen as classically beautiful by todays standards, and that's not just referring to size, height, skin colour, ethnicity, style of dress, anything that is slightly different, we are expected to feel grateful that someone actually found us attractive enough to comment on it.

I'm calling bullshit.

Men need to stop. As a woman our worth is not based on the opinion of a man in the street. To all my readers both men and women its quite clear something needs to change. I guess the question is when. With all the movements and media campaigns I'm sure we're all hoping its very very soon.

So if you have personal experience with cat-calling or even just any experience with sexual discrimination, just know you don't have to be flattered you don't have to accept 'boys will be boys' or 'men just can't control themselves', my advice would be to give everyone who says it a big old screw-you and Just Be...Your Way xxx

A little help in how to shut down catcallers courtesy of Buzzfeed!!

An Open WIde Question

With the holiday season upon us, we're all travelling. Going on holidays and to parties where public transport is necessary. Planes. Trains. Busses. Taxis. We need them all. Now you're wondering why I'm even bringing this up. Public transport brings to light a seemingly small but pertinent issue. Fat people. Fat People and public transport specifically.

You know what makes me laugh?  Peoples reactions. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not denying that there are cases where severe obesity has caused an issue in public transport. However. for your everyday regular chubby chick or frumpy friend, using a bus or train really isn't a big deal.

I'm a size 22 and I don't drive so I rely heavily (haha heavily. get it?) on public transport. While my ass is most definitely large it certainly doesn't take up two seats on a plane or spill over onto my fellow passengers. But I do experience the sidelong glances or under-breath grumblings when I'm squeezing myself through the 6 inch gap to get off the bus or my arm brushes juuuuust slightly the person next to me (who I might add freaking chose to sit by me!!!!).

What I'd like to know is why? I could count on one hand the amount of people I know that can successfully squeeze themselves through a packed bus without touching anyone. But It's still seen as acceptable to roll your eyes at the fact my boobs brushed you on the way past.

Guess what sweetheart? I have big boobs! I can hardly get through any gap without them brushing something.

And that side-shuffle!! That shuffle someone does when you sit next to them and there isn't a clear foot of space between you both. My fat isn't going to infect you! I'm not going to suffocate you with the space I take up in air.

There will always be this sort of reaction with regards to public transport I guess the real question is; is it warranted?

Is it actually a reasonable concern for the general public to be worried about this issue? Should Airlines be forcing obese customers to be buying two seats? Or alternatively, should they provide larger chairs for their larger customers? Does this encourage obesity? Or are they simply catering to their customers? Is it fair for a severely overweight person to take up two chairs on a bus while someone who could potentially need it remains standing.

These questions could only be described as ethical issues. I personally don't know the answer. As a woman of the larger persuasion, would I rather have bigger chairs that don't cut off the circulation to one of my legs on an aeroplane? Yes. Do I expect it just because I would rather eat a burger than celery? No I don't.

All I can do is leave these questions for everyone to think about and would welcome any and all responses!!! So Enjoy your new year and Just Be...Your way xx

Skin Deep Discussions

My boyfriend was taking some pictures of me the other day for my Instagram.

As is often the case, I wasn’t happy with the way the photos  seemed to make my double chin look like I’d swallowed an entire bag or marshmallows, and was hoarding them in my cheeks and jawline in case of an apocalypse.
Obviously I sent him up a step to retake them from a higher angle, and voila! A jawline!
After many assurances that he thought I looked great in all the pictures, he asked: why. if I’m trying to promote body confidence, I would be hiding my ‘imperfections’.

And I realised.

As much as the question itself is really dumb, he wasn’t asking from maliciousness. I know he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful.
However he, like much of the world have been sucked into this Ideology that if you want to promote self-confidence you have to promote the bits about yourself you don’t like.  It suggests a concept where we have to almost prove we really are confident by portraying ourselves in a bad light.

Obviously that's one of the stupidest things anyone has ever heard. But the fact of the matter is, it seems to be a common idea.

It doesn’t even just apply to size. This isn’t just a rant about how hard it is for plus size women to take a good picture without being criticized. Body confidence isn’t just about how much you weigh or the number on the label of your clothes.  I want to make it clear that this isn't just a plus size blog, it's a body confidence blog, which means I address anything and everything that makes people feel less confident about themselves.

One huge huge thing is skin. It's something we all have, however its easy to feel insecure in a society that preaches 'clear skin equals beauty'. You don't see Meredith Grey worrying about her acne scars do you? I can't actually remember the last time I saw Kim Kardashians clear make-up free face. On the other hand when a celebrity dares to go out without perfectly contoured cheek bones there's tonnes of speculations about whether they are sick or on drugs!

I recently saw a video made by the blogger from My Pale Skin, in her video she addresses comments made about how she looked without make up by putting on a full face of makeup. What I found amazing and completely disgusting is how horrid the comments were to her natural face. Words like ‘ugly’ ‘disgusting’ and ‘horrible’ were used.

However, and this is my point, once she had the make up on it wasn’t all compliments and chocolate. She was then criticised for wearing too much make up!! She was called ‘false’ ‘misleading’ .

 The question is; can we ever win? Portraying ourselves in the best light either makes us fake and misleading and not really body confident because we're not being truthful about ourselves. Or it makes us deluded, as if were lying to ourselves about what we actually look like.

Both of those opinions are absolute bollocks. Thing is Until Society itself changes its unrealistic ideas about beauty there will always be problems. Until Disney, Barbie and a whole host of media outlets stop telling our little girls and boys that if you don't look like a fairy tale princess, you are ugly, people will continue to grow up with these insecurities

All I can suggest is in the words of Kevin hart is " Do You Boo-Boo. And I'ma do me."  And remember to Just Be... Your Way xxx

Motivation,Shmotivation

Body Confidence is a relative concept. What it takes to make me confident in myself may not necessarily be the same for you, and vise-versa. As such, I can't tell you how to love yourself (if only it was that easy!!) I can only make suggestions. One avenue people use in the gym ( aka Satan's playground). The problem for many is actually getting to there. And here we have it, that word we have thrown at us from our most informative years: Motivation.

One of the hardest things about losing weight/getting healthy is motivation. I have never been motivated to lose weight before in my life! I’d diet for maybe two days and the lure of pizza would become too strong. Next thing I know I have a food baby and I’m suffering the effects of eating the entire pie of Pizzary goodness in 30 minutes.

Today I weighed myself for the first time in a little while to discover I’d lost an entire stone. How? I haven’t exercised in weeks and had MacDonald’s yesterday. I’m not entirely sure. But it does prove one thing.  Basic changes make a huge difference, all I did was substitute my normal take away meals for huge salads, cut chocolate back to maybe twice a week, substituted crisps for plantain chips and popcorn and drank allot of water. I exercised a few times a week but didn’t go crazy. I still ate Mac Donald’s and pizza every now and again and couldn’t stop drinking juice!

But guess what? It freaking worked!! 14 lbs gone!! Can you tell? Not even a little bit. But guess what? I don’t care! I don’t care if I still wear the same size, or if no one has noticed I’ve lost weight. I did it! I accomplished something I’d never been able to do and if there was any indication that living a healthier lifestyle was good then this would be it!

So here is my advice for my friends struggling to motivate themselves:

Don’t sweat it! Your motivation will come from yourself, don’t let anyone pressure you to lose weight, don’t do it for a man, don’t do it for Society's opinions of you or your friends, do it for you.

Alternatively; you could just not blooming bother! Screw the gym. Forget being sweaty and in pain. Do you even realize how much my ass hurts right now? Enjoy your burrito! Have fun with Ben and Jerry! Laugh at those 'real' gymers who get up at stupid-o'clock while you're in the arms of the angels in bed. Who cares!? As long as you’re happy with yourself does it really matter what anyone else thinks!?

NO. It doesn’t.

Society and the media would have us all believe that how many likes we get on a picture, or how many compliments we received, or whether you can fit in a size 4 is what matters. It conditions us to believe that beauty is based on certain checklists: Tall. Check. Size zero. Check. etc.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. It’s a bunch of horse-crap.

Other peoples’ opinions of you don’t matter. They don’t freaking know you! My advice is to give them this face:

And calmly move on with your life. I don't think Kevin could have expressed it better personally.

         At the end of the day people always feel its okay to give their opinions about things that have nothing to do with them but just remember, in then end, the only opinion about you that matters, is your own. 

So exercise or don’t bother: Just Be….Your way xx

Healing with Humor: The skinny 'fat' friend

For all of my fuller figured friends I’m sure you know the horror of shopping with your girlfriend who thinks she’s fat but is actually as skinny as stick-insect on crack.

When they say; “Oh god! I have got to lose weight!” and you’re thinking, “Giiiiirl if you lose any more of that ass you’re going to be sitting directly on your spine”.

Her comments about her own appearance always leads us to the question; If she thinks she’s this ginormous monster then what the hell does she think of me with my cottage cheese thighs and cake tops? (Not muffin tops because that sounds cute. Cake. Because there is nothing remotely cute about trying to dress cake-tops).

Then she’ll turn around and say; "you look really hot!!" And "wow you look amazing!". And you think…. Well if you think you look horrible then what do you really think of me? 

We’ve all had it. My advice?? Don’t freaking shop with them. Simple as. Or you could sit this friend down discuss their obvious self-image issues and point out that when they call themselves hideous around us when we weigh about 7 more stone than they do we feel like absolute shit.

Don’t ever judge your own beauty and worth based on someone else. How they see themselves has nothing at all to do with you. The only thing that matters is how you see yourself. Understandably its so easy to say, but so hard to do were constantly bombarded with images of how we should look and what we should aspire to. If they have allowed themselves to be led like sheep down a dangerous path of discontentment, let them. Be strong. Make up your own mind and accept whoever you are and Just be... Your way xxx

Shaming the 'Fat-Shamer's'

"It's really not glandular, it's your gluttony...We object to the enormous amount of food resources you consume while half the world starves. 

We disapprove of your wasting NHS money to treat your selfish greed.

 And we do not understand why you fail to grasp that by eating less you will be better off, slimmer, happy and find a partner who is not a perverted chubby-lover, or even find a partner at all.

We also object that the beautiful pig is used as an insult. You are not a pig. You are a fat, ugly human."

Imagine you're minding your own business. On the way to work, meeting a friend or running errands. And some random person you've never seen before in your life approaches you and give you one of these: 

On the back is the above statement.

 What sort of reaction would you give? How would you react knowing there is an actual organisation ( Overweight haters ltd, not a very catchy name I would point out, surely they could have come up with something more original?! They're likely too busy being alone and unhappy) going out on the London tube and giving anyone they don't deem as good enough one of these cards. 

Now I have a problem with these cards because they are just incorrect. Personally I don't eat allot as I work nights and don't have the bloody time to eat, I only use the NHS when I'm about to die, and I'm very happy with my non-chubby lover boyfriend. ( He's a lover of Justice ....haha...get it? lover of....never mind) I also damn well better not be a pig because well you know....bacon...yum.

The question is: how do you get through to people that this sort of body shamming is bullying? That it should be met with the same sort of outrage that's given to people bullied about other things: religion, skin colour, financial status. That by not stopping this sort of thing from happening , we're telling our children that its okay to single out and insult anyone who is different.

 You know who else used to single people out because they didn't approve of their appearance? Hitler!!! Guess how that turned out?

Its a well known, and sadly indisputable, fact that people feel entirely too comfortable making offensive and inappropriate comments about peoples appearance; particularly their weight. Its considered 'helping', 'positive criticism' or 'tough love' . 

It's not.

Don't let society fool you. There is absolutely no 'up-side' to this sort of brutal and vicious attack. It will not solve the obesity problem of the world. It will not 'motivate' anyone to lose weight. It will tear people down: Their confidence, their self assurance, their self reliance, it will damage their ability to love others, because if you can't love yourself, can you truly love someone else?

It will tear you down if you allow it.

DON'T.

This is one example of people trying to hold you back. These people have created limits to you as a person. Ignore them. Who gives one flying shit if these tossers don't like the size of your ass? Who cares if one group of people, with their one shared brain-cell, come up with a wildly unimaginative name and pass out cards on the tube. Don't allow people's opinions to be the reason you don't allow yourself to eat in public or never say you're hungry ( because as if someone our size could be hungry!?). The only way these people will win is if we let them.

 So my friends let us give these 'Overweight Haters ltd' a good old f@#! you and  just be...your way xxx

Healing with Humor: The over-sized enthusiast

Every now and again we experience one of those moments which are so shocking all you can do is that nervous-horrified laughter. Only thing is, its just not funny. Often times these moments come from the people closest to us.

 It's a well known fact that unfortunately friends and family feel they have the right to say hurtful offensive things often under the guise of 'helping' us, I couldn't tell you why they do, but I have tons of stories about people being 'helpful'. 

I've personally found humor to be a great way to remember things that have happened.

From time to time I'll break out one of my own personal experiences, if only to show you all that you're not alone. I'll call them 'Healing with humor'. Here is the first one.

Why. Just Why do ‘kindly’ relatives buy clothes for you 3 sizes too big. Then, when it (surprise surprise) doesn’t fit, they tell you;

“Well if it doesn’t fit now, you’ll just grow into it”

That statement is fine if you’re 8 and the likelihood is you’re going to put on a foot in height, grow boobs and suddenly find you have an ass. In that instance, you more than likely WILL grow into it.

BUT….

When you’re 18 on the other hand, you stopped growing at 14, your boobs aren’t getting any bigger because they’re already big enough and you found that ass and a bit more you didn’t need; Being told you’ll “grow into it” is just insulting.

Like all my stories this actually happened.

So we have me. 18. Not growing any time soon (see above). And my not so kindly step-mother turns up with a present for yours truly. What can it be?! A lovely dress? As I take out this garishly shiny silver dress (why do people think….”oh she’s fat, let’s make this size dress in a disgusting fabric! She’ll love that!) I think… I’m hot. I’m sure I can pull this off; it was nice of her to get it for me, just be grateful. Etc., etc.

 I take a little look-see at the tag and see that it was in a size 26. This wouldn’t have been a problem at all. If I was a size 26, except I wasn’t I was a size 18. Admittedly my ass is 10 inches bigger than my boobs and 22 inches bigger than my waist (gloriously disproportioned I know!). But there is no way my ass at the time was a size 26. I freeze. And think: maybe she didn’t notice that it’s waaay too big and gingerly try it on.

 Obviously it just gaped everywhere. My boobs didn’t even touch the front of the dress (and the girls definitely aren’t small so that’s a feat in itself). I had so much extra fabric around my waist I could have been pregnant and you wouldn’t have noticed. And my ass, my very large ass, which normally announces itself in spectacular fashion in any item of clothing I wear, was nowhere to be seen.

I show my step mum the dress-that-ate-me and she just looks at it and says;

“It’s a little big, but you wouldn’t want it to cling to your fat anyway and you’ll grow into it”

LITTLE BIG??!! It’s EATING me woman!! CLING TO MY FAT?? Don’t look at my fat. My fat is none of your business! In fact go deal with your own fat! And guess what?? I STILL haven’t bloody grown into it!!

Whether someone is being intentionally rude (see story above), or literally just being an idiot don’t take it to heart. Don’t suddenly start to think. Wait. Do I look 3 sizes bigger than I am? What you think about yourself is the most important thing about what you look like. The most important thing is to be happy and content with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 8 or a size 28; don’t let anyone ever make you feel uncomfortable with the way you look. And if they do just tell them to go screw themselves and just be ..your way xxx

GETTING GYM-IFIED

 I personally believe the gym is a torturous activity, sent by Hitler himself, to torment those that hate it with its ridiculous occupants and judgmental

 attitudes.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever said you go to the gym and received that; ‘it doesn’t look like it’ grimace? Or arrived at the gym ready to vanquish that extra bit of weight you just DON’T want on your body, only to be greeted by the sound of the gym mating call? (Typically known by grunts, slapping of hands, pacing and just generally bringing way too much attention to oneself as possible)

So, maybe I’ve never claimed to like the gym, and maybe I've always chosen to go the route of just loving my body instead of changing it. But Guess what? It hasn't been bloody working!!

The time has arrived where to feel good about myself I’m going to have to lose the weight that is weighing me down.Not too say this will be easy. It most certainly will not. But i'm determined.
 Now I can approach the horrors facing me in one of two ways:

1.                          I either face the self-served sentence head on. March my ample ass up those steps and brazenly use that gym like I was born on that blooming treadmill. Or

2.                          (More realistically) start slow. Use my personal cross trainer and allow myself to feel slightly more confident. I then go and march in there like I’m perhaps distantly related to the broken rowing machine in the corner.

 I think personally I’d settled with ‘me’. I wear my weight so well, (and let’s face it. I really do! I’m a sexy slice of pie!!) I didn’t feel the need to address the slight but nagging issues I had with myself. 

Why change what’s not broken right?  I’d tell myself I couldn’t lose the weight because How can I preach body confidence if I’m not always body confident? The answer is simply this.

 Body confidence is not fixed. It is transient. It doesn’t mean I have to accept the things I don’t like, or ‘live with them’ it means feeling beautiful, feeling peace with yourself and your body and taking the necessary healthy steps to make that happen, whether those steps are physical or mental.

So wherever you are, and however you feel, just remember: Just be… Your way xx

 

Loving dat Ass

You've found it. The dress. It’s THE one. The most perfect dress you’ve ever seen. It's the perfect colour. The perfect length and…Would you look at that!? Just your size!
You take it home without trying it on because you KNOW it's going to fit, It's perfect! How could it not?
It's time and you’re strutting down the street “Crazy in Love” by Beyonce is playing in your head.
AND THEN IT HAPPENS.
The scent of the glorious sausage roll calls to your senses and you look over in the window of Greg’s, regretting missing lunch to get that mani-pedi, and you see it. The back of your skirt is 5 inches above the front.
As you’ve been strutting your stuff, everyone you've passed has gotten a massive, glorious eyeful of your thighs.
Why?
You. Have. A. Massive. Ass
No! Don’t stop reading. It’s true. Here at Just be your way I always deal in the absolute truth and the thing is. You got some serious junk in that trunk.
It's okay! So do I .
In fact yours truly even has-what we affectionately call; a shelf. I hate my shelf.
It’s not part of my butt but it’s really not part of my back, it’s that little bit ( okay big bit) of fat that just makes my clothes fit wrong.
Thing is, while everyone has parts of their body they either like or dislike, often times the “bootay” is the part most of us have a love/ hate relationship with. Now, this could either be because we feel we don’t have enough of it or we feel we have too much. But dwelling on how much we hate a certain part of our bodies accomplishes nothing. However ‘love your body’ is easier said than done. Right.
But guess what?
You don't have to be hatin’.
There are several ways you can fall in love with your be-donk-a-donk without butt implants or lipo-suction, and they go as follows;

For the sake of hilarity let’s have our 4 points spell out BUTT.

1. Become Content. There are always going to be people who want what you have. And at times you'll want what someone else has. But the fact is you don't have it. Contentment affords you what few people have and that's peace with yourself. The constant stress and worry that you do/don't have what you shouldn't/should have will slowly drive you mad. It's litterally no way to live your life.
2. Use what's available. You seriously don't have to just live with your natural ass. Ever heard of 'spanks'? Accepting your body doesn't mean you can't just display it in its best light. Whether your lifting it up or squishing it down its still YOUR ass.
3. Take control. Whether it's of your body or of your mind. You have two options; accept what you have and learn to love yourself, thus taking control of your mind. Or take control of your body and make the changes you want. While I personally think the gym was a present from Satan, some people love it!
4.Take the time. Whether it's taking time to go to the gym or taking time to learn to love yourself as you are, it's not going to be easy. It's not going to happen overnight. Accept that and don't become disheartened. It will happen!!

SO in conclusion my friends, the facts are these. Whether you're a size 10 or a size 28. Love dat blooming ass!! And remember....Just be...Your Way xx