So it turns out that "No" doesn't actually mean "No" any more.
What do you mean Justice?
Well my lovely people I mean that, for some reason that blows my adorable little mind, when a guy says;
"Hey girl, go out with me", and she politely says:
"No thank you I'm not interest ". Instead receiving being a reasonable and respectful;
"Absolutely, I completely understand".
We normally receive something along the lines of '..
"Nah! babe why do you have to be like that? Come on just give me your number. You don't know what you're missing! Don't be a bitch!"
Yes. Apparently these days not being attracted to someone makes you a bitch.
For some unknown reason when you tell a man "NO" In todays society he doesn't hear "NO", he hears; "Convince me" or " I don't really know what I want, I actually want you so badly, if you just ask me a few more times, and start to get angry, and invade my personal space I'll definitely go out with you ."
Now this is an issue I feel particularly passionate about. Because somewhere, somehow, while people were busy chasing Pokémon, 'No' started to be a suggestion and not a command.
I shouldn't have to say no more than once and I shouldn't have to lie and say I have a girlfriend or chlamydia to stop a mans advances.
And you all think I'm making this up ...surprise! This has actually happened .
( I don't, nor have I ever had chlamydia I'd just like to point out )
I promise I'm not just all about the man- hate here!! Oh No! I fully acknowledge that women can be sex hungry animals too. I've heard horrible stories of women accusing men of rape just because they weren't interested. Of stalking them and trying to ruin their lives because they said no. But the point of this post is this,
When did we, as a race of humans, start expecting sex as a 'due'. When did people think that buying you a drink entitled them to your body. When did people start seeing sexual delinquency as just 'growing pains.'
The thing is being fat, and experiencing this kind of treatment is a whole different ball game.
Blonde, gorgeous, size 8, Hannah gets cat-called by a group of 5 builders and complains about it to her friends. They'll ask if she's okay and express their disgust. Black, size 22, Justice get cat-called by the same group of 'badmen' and complains about it, and people think she's making it up or expect her to be grateful.
For some reason if you're bigger people expect you to be flattered- men go from a simple "Hey how are you doing?" to "You're a fat fuck|!" in 5 seconds. Men expect that because they've lowered their standards to speak to you, that you'll jump at the chance to speak to them. The idea that you as a fat person could possibly have higher standards that them insults them to such a degree, offensive or violent behaviour seems like the only option.
And thus brings the second problem.
Because people don't tend to believe that a larger person could possibly be on the receiving end of sexual attention let alone sexual violence, we tend not to report it . We think they wont believe us, that they'll say we're just looking for attention. That they'll say:
"Why would they pick her when they could have anyone?" "How would they even get her thighs open?" "She's a big girl. Couldn't she have fought him off?"
I genuinely know someone who has actually been raped, in every sense of the word and hasn't reported it because she's fat and she didn't think the police would believe her. How is this allowed to happen!?
Its unacceptable. All I want is for "No" to mean "No". For the stupid stereotypes and idiotic assumptions to go and shove themselves. For men ( and women alike ) to be held accountable for their sordid actions , and not for a pathetic letter from their mum asking that they not be punished for violating and degrading someone to affect the severity of their punishment ( i.e. the Stanford rapist ).
At the end of the day the only way we can make a change is if every single person is treated as valuable as the next. If children ( boys and girls) are taught that no means no and that no-one has any right over another persons body . If every single person on the planet has some goddamn compassion and shows some fucking humanity.
So my lovely readers share my message, continue trying, be the best person you can and Just Be... Your Way xx
