Out in the Open

Ever heard of Cards against Harassment? Its a blog created by a woman called Lindsey to counter the street harassment she witnessed and experienced in Minneapolis.

Recently she started a hashtag called #ShirtlessShamers and its freaking brilliant!!!
We are in the age of the Selfie. People have literally died in an attempt to take a perfect selfie. Kim Kardashian made a book of selfies. And sold it.  Everyone does it and nearly everyone shares them. But It's a breeding ground for negative feedback.

Lindsey's twitter highlights the hypocrisy of men shaming women for topless selfies while doing exactly the same thing, Below is one of my personal favourites.

To be honest I think Lindsey's blog and twitter speak for themselves but seriously how ridiculous is this!?
Now while I may never feel the urge to strip down , artfully arrange my boobs in their most flattering light (which just so happens to be completely covered) and snap a photo, the fact that some men can honestly and in all serious shame a woman for the same thing they themselves are doing is ludicrous. What gives them the right to do that!?
The sad thing is we do. As a whole society gives men (and women) this right to judge and shame others. It tells men that it doesn't matter if you get your clothes off because you're a man. It encourages women to tear down and degrade other women. How can we ever be truly body confident if these double standard continue? We can't. Unfortunately I can't tell you how it will end but I can thank Lindsey for making a stand and bringing to light, in such a brilliant way, a massive issue.

So if you want a laugh click on the links and if you want to take a topless selfie go right ahead, screw other people and their double standards and Just Be...Your Way xx











Click here to read the Independent's article about Lindsey's twitter

calling out cat-callers

So a couple of days ago I'd had a long day traveling, I was missing my man so I decide I need a burger.
Nothing glamorous just a good old cheeseburger, I throw on clothes, didn't even bother with a bra, and draped myself with a huge scarf and cape (to hide my bra-less boobs of course)
Not even 1 minute into my journey I see two men walking towards me on the same side of the street. As they approach I instinctively look at my phone and walk faster (probably the most go-to response for most women today).
One of the men as I'm approaching calls out:
"Hey baby, nice body" and proceeds to staaaaare at my chest and ass as I walk past.
I didn't reply, I had a burger that needed my time and attention, but it made me think.
Am I interested in this man? No.
Did I give any indication I wanted his opinion on my body? Nope.
Would he have ever done the same thing had my boyfriend been walking with me? Nope again.
And.
Why the hell did I not give this guy a piece of my mind!?
What he said was inappropriate and uninvited however I did nothing, I just put my head down and hustled off.
Why?
Because I'm used to it.
I have received a stupidly large amount of men's opinions of my body during my lifetime. Starting, as is often the case, with my father, progressing to boys at school and settling to what I receive today, opinions being administered just randomly in the street.
I've had whistles. comments, insults, 'compliments',  been followed,  had my number been demanded from me, even been grabbed.

The problem is for some reason when it happens to a 'big' girl its not seen as offensive as if it happened to a small petite girl. Is this because people feel we can 'handle' ourselves because we're bigger? That no-one is really going to do anything because they could 'easily pick someone better' or perhaps that we should be grateful that someone actually finds us attractive?

Every now and again the subject of cat calling will pop up here or there, usually in relation to some sort of attack where sexual discrimination is prevalent. Most recently the spate of sexual attacks in Germany. But people rarely put any focus on the everyday problems women in general face.
They choose to believe that its just these random acts of sexual violence, placing any blame they can except the way society has moulded boys and men to think they have the right to an opinion on our bodies. In the case of Germany it's refugees, apparently its all the refugees who are sexual deviants, of course it couldn't be that they are just trying to escape a war torn country and be safe.

I even had one idiot actually tell me that ' well you don't see English or European people grabbing girls in the street' EXCUSE ME!!?? Are you mentally deficient!?

More recently there have been a few social media campaigns exposing schools who instead of expecting their young men to have respect and control have imposed ridiculous dress codes. Once again placing the blame on the girl who showed her shoulders rather than on the man who grabbed her ass. We need more campaigns like this to bring to light the unfairness of it all.

What I don't understand is why we are supposed to be flattered? Why should I be flattered that a man I don't know decided to call out that he liked my 'fat ass' and could show me how a 'real man handles a big woman'. And I definitely don't understand why I especially should be flattered. Did I somehow give the impression that because of my size I was specifically needing this mans 'compliment'.

If a woman is not seen as classically beautiful by todays standards, and that's not just referring to size, height, skin colour, ethnicity, style of dress, anything that is slightly different, we are expected to feel grateful that someone actually found us attractive enough to comment on it.

I'm calling bullshit.

Men need to stop. As a woman our worth is not based on the opinion of a man in the street. To all my readers both men and women its quite clear something needs to change. I guess the question is when. With all the movements and media campaigns I'm sure we're all hoping its very very soon.

So if you have personal experience with cat-calling or even just any experience with sexual discrimination, just know you don't have to be flattered you don't have to accept 'boys will be boys' or 'men just can't control themselves', my advice would be to give everyone who says it a big old screw-you and Just Be...Your Way xxx

A little help in how to shut down catcallers courtesy of Buzzfeed!!

Shopping with the ‘Encouraging Friend’

We all have THAT do-good friend, the one that’s always suggesting we take a lovely loooong sweaty bike-ride. Or kindly offering to go for a run with us “ANY time!”.

I had a friend like that (emphasis on the word ‘had.)

One time I was shopping with this friend, she’s a size 8 and I’m a size 18 (was an 18 I should say) and we’re trying on clothes.

As you do.

Now I’m not one of those women who try and squeeze themselves into a smaller size, just so that the tag in the back of her clothes shows a smaller number. I dress for my size, and I look damn good doing so.

Anyway...She tries on a blouse in a size 10; it’s too big so she turns to me and says;

“Justice why don’t you try it on, it will probably fit you”.

As I’m sure you can imagine my face looked something along the lines of…

Once again I was required to speak the dreaded 4 words of evil that all curvy girls have had to say far too often.

“That won’t fit me”

Now I'm not going to deny that the options for my fuller figured friends are far more vast than they used to be, 'YOURS' is one brand that has just exploded in the last year.
But.
There are still tonnes of high street brands that don't. Eventually they'll see the beneft in catering to the masses ,( *cough*topshop*cough*), but until they do we'll just have to deal with situations like these. 

Then my friends, this is where it gets worse ( how could it possibly get worse you may rightfully ask) she turns to me, holding the offending item towards me with her skinny arms like a sacrifice and asks with a stupid, kindly, pitying, smile and asks:

“Are you sure?”

The urge to rip one of those skinny arms off and beat her with it surged through me like a bad case of the runs.

Am I Sure??? OH NO I just wear a size, 4 sizes too big because I find it breezy. Of course I’m freaking sure!!! As would anyone be, who actually looked at the size of the shirt and then looked at me.

For anyone who has experienced this problem …My advice? She either;

1. Says shit like that because she’s not a good friend and is intentionally trying to make you feel bad about yourself. If this is the case? Then ditch her and get away quick like a black guy at a KKK rally. Or,
2. She’s just stupid. You can’t blame her for being dumb, so just feel sorry for your stupid friends and resolve yourself to basically ignore whatever stupid shit comes out of her mouth.

And lastly my friends just remember.... to Just Be...Your Way xxx

New Years Big Idea

New Years' Resolutions. You know what I'm talking about. That eagerly spouted lie we tell ourselves and other people, in the desperate hope that one of us will believe it and suddenly decide to make a change that results in riches, fame and often times love.

One statistic I saw said that only 8 percent of people keep their new years resolutions, which would suggest that most of us will be broke, unknown and alone by the end of 2016.

And fat. Most of us will be fat.

Because as you know one of the most common resolutions involves loosing weight, getting fit or becoming more healthy. As if the change in year will miraculously result in all that motivation you failed to muster have for the previous 12 months.

I'm sure you can tell from this post already, I don't put much stock in new years resolutions. Why you might ask?

Because if I wasn't willing to finish a 15 hour shift, go home, get into some unflattering exercise clothes and then sweat my bodyweight in sweat for 2 hours running on a blooming death machine (A.K.A treadmill) for the last 365 days, what about January the first is going to make a difference? What on Earth is so magical about the new year?
What's more likely to happen is you wake up from that massive hangover you acquired the night before, peel the kebab wrapping off of your face and curse your friends for forcing you to have 'fun', then abandoning you in the toilets of McDonald's.

Now don't get me wrong I, of course, do see the value of resolutions, they can oftentimes give us just that extra little bit of motivation we need.
I just don't see any value in specifying them for new years. I think people are often pressured into them, you're constantly being bombarded with 'the question'
"What's your resolution for the new year?"
Its almost as if you have no ambition for yourself if you don't.

Obviously that a bunch of horse crap.

Here's my advice.

Don't bother. Leave the New Years resolutions for the baby vegans and fledgling cross fitters . Instead wait until February 16th to begin your resolutions to get fit and loose weight.

Why? Because that way you can indulge yourself by buying all that on sale valentines day chocolate and eating it alone with pizza and a whole bottle of wine. THEN make those resolutions and do your thing!!!

You're welcome. So happy New Years everyone and Just Be...Your way xxx