Fat Stereotypes| Misconceptions about Being Fat

So guys we've got cracking and our second video is up!!! Let me know what you think!??

              

Leave The Labels on the Clothes

So;

In latest news my lovely blog readers.

It turns out the 'plus size' model chosen as swimsuit rookie of the year for Sports Illustrated, has now been deemed 'too fat' by some of our ever-opinionated public.

I'm going to get straight to the point.

She is neither fat nor 'plus size'.

Now don't get me wrong Ashley Graham is freaking stunning. I would literally sell an ovary to have her body. But I assure you, without a shadow of a doubt, if I wore the swimsuit she's modelling I would not look like her.

I would look like....

Ever seen the Michelin man? Now picture him in a bikini.

Yeah. I'd look a bit like that.

I have cellulite and rolls and dimply skin. I don't have a flat stomach and a perfect hourglass figure.

And this is where I have the problem. I am plus size. I'm very plus size. She isn't. She's just normal.

So while Ashley Graham may be deemed 'plus size' by the modelling world, and this is only my humble opinion, a size 14 IS NOT PLUS SIZE.

And neither is a damn size 12. Why in gods great earth are women who are a perfectly healthy, normal weight being advertised towards with plus size clothes? Why is my tiny petite best friend able to buy clothes that are labelled as 'plus size'?

Now don't get me wrong this isn't about 'us fatties having something for ourselves' this is about the poor size 12 girl who is being told she's fat when she's not. And the size 28 girl who is looking at clothes on a size 14 'plus size model' but can't actually see what the clothes would look like on someone her own size.

The lovely Miss Graham has said in a interview that she doesn't feel a connection to the term 'plus size'; and she shouldn't, because there really isn't anything plus about her. Unless we're talking about her incredible genes. She definitely got an extra helping of those.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is how stupid labels are.

We let society tell us we fit in a certain mould. If you're not top-shop thin then you're plus sized. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being classified as plus sized. As long as you're healthy it doesn't actually matter what size trousers you wear. My problem stems from, if people are calling her fat, a perfectly normal looking woman then what the hell do they think of me? when I'm 3-4 sizes bigger. And while saying don't listen to what people say about you is all so easy to preach, its not actually that easy to follow.

Unfortunately the only advice I can give is to ignore it. If people are determined to label you a certain way, there isn't a whole lot we can do about it.

All I can say is  having an ounce of fat on your body doesn't make you plus size! Good grief!! It just makes you normal.

I can't see how telling people who aren't even overweight in the slightest, that they are categorised as plus size helps anyone.

This is like when men say they like 'curvy' women and you ask 'really? like what' and they name Jenifer Lopez. and all you can think is I look like I ate Jenifer Lopez and then mopped her up with a side of Niki Minaj and a had a tall glass of Beyoncé just to wash it all down with.

Trying to fit people into moulds they don't actually fit into doesn't work. Its stupid and its dumb and that's all I have to say about it.

Nobody has the right to make you fit into any label. Ever. Nobody can dictate where you fit, only you can choose where you belong in society. So just give them a big old screw you and Just Be...Your way xx

First Video!! Why Do Men Hate Fat Girls?

SO, ladies and gentlemen, here we have it!! The first attempt at a video to capture your interest! Its our first go so ignore the bad lighting! haha. This is going to be a weekly chat which I'll put up on here.
I'll be putting up my own videos soon as well, so stay tuned!!

Apropriate apropriation?

My dears! My apologies for missing a post last week! Hopefully this one makes it up to you!!!??

Appropriation.

Oh yeah. I brought out the big guns today !!

I seem to constantly hear about it these days. Kylie Jenner. Iggy Azalea, Amber rose. And more recently the queen of everything Beyoncé. But the list goes on.
These celebrities have all at one point or often repeatedly been accused of appropriation, and to be honest I'm not sure what to think of it.

I feel as a young black woman I'm almost expected to be offended by the sight of a white boy listening to rap, or a white woman with a black man. Or a white woman with a big fake arse.
The thing is I don't actually give a shit.
Now I don't know if that makes me blind or just not overly concerned with things that are not concerning but I think maybe it needs to be discussed.

Don't get me wrong hearing that the Valentino 2016 spring collection was 'Africa-based' (I don't know what exactly that means considering Africa has a whole host of different styles and traditional dress') yet only 8 out of the 87 looks were on actual black girls does make me do a 'what!?' face. However the sight of a white woman with braids doesn't bother me in the slightest. If you check my Instagram you'll see I even cornrowed one of my closest friends entire head. And she's white. And she looked freaking fierce! Even better than me with them!

I will admit to being completely inspired by Beyoncé's latest hit 'Formation', that line " I like my baby hair with baby hair afro's / I like my negro nose with Jackson five nostrils" really resonates. Its only recently I've come to accept my natural hair and even realise my nose is pretty damn great!
Obviously Beyoncé just rules at life anyway but I loved that she was drawing attention to a really pertinent issue, with the Black Lives Matter movement.
As always happens when someone makes a fairly political stand they're met with allot of "if a white person did this then they'd be called racist!". And Beyoncé was no different.

Obviously All lives matter, but there needs to be a Black Lives Matter movement because not everyone believes it!! Everyone already believes that white lives matter. I'm actually at a loss as to why people struggle to understand that. A boy being shot 6 times in the head while unarmed, because of the colour of his skin is bad. Simple as that.

I commented on a article on Facebook and the responses, while mostly in agreement; included one woman stating that "black lives matter should start in the home, teaching right from wrong" and that " if she and I went for the same job interview, and she had a slightly better qualification I would get the job because of the colour of my skin" I'm black. She's white. She's clearly been living under a rock!
I also had a man say that: "no-one take blacks seriously,  [black people] do nothing for society, and that Anglo civilisations "evolved" where the African ones didn't. Yes people. He said we weren't evolved.
Now clearly he's a massive dickhead but I (obviously) find that ridiculously offensive. At the same time I don't feel I have the right to get too offended because my birthmother is white. Half of my family is white and while I don't know pretty much any of them from a random person in the street, who am I to comment when I don't even know what my own flesh and blood thinks? I could easily have cousins or even brothers who share that same opinion. Do I have a right to support the black lives matter movement as a black woman when I'm not fully black?

And this is why body confidence is more than just the size of someone' butt. Because I don't feel confident enough in my own body to actually support an issue I feel strongly about lest society tell me I don't have that right.
And that's actually crazy!! I should be able to support whoever I damn well please. If I want to braid one of my best friends hair I shouldn't have to worry if I'm setting her up to be given grief for it. And if I want to fully support a call to action to stop black people being gunned down in the street for a complexion I have, I should be able to.

My point is essentially this;
Body confidence is synonymous with acceptance.

How can anyone be truly body confident if the way they choose to express themselves is being censored? So no I don't agree with some of the hate people receive for ' appropriating black culture'. I feel that everyone should be able to express themselves in whatever way they choose. But give credit where credits due.

Not to mention does anyone actually check their facts? The Vikings actually braided their hair first, which makes braids both Norse (Norwegian/ Danish) and for men. Sorry ladies.

History lesson aside, my point stands. Body confidence will never happen completely unless people stop telling others what they can and can't be confident about.
My advice is to pretty much ignore the haters.

Wear what you want. Listen to what you want. Speak how you want, Support whoever the hell you damn well want to ( within reason, obviously the people who want to legalise rape shouldn't be supported!). And guys,  Just Be...Your Way xx

One Size Doesn't Fit All

"Oh he's probably into blonde skinny girls anyway"
How many times have we heard this or even said it ourselves?

For some reason if we don't fit a traditional category of beauty, we seem to think that when it comes to dating, its best not to put ourselves out there because they wont be interested anyway.
I myself have had these thoughts on several occasions.
Why in the hell would he want a short, fat, black girl with issues when he could have anyone else?

The thing is that I haven't actually found it at all difficult to date, found it difficult to find decent guys-maybe, but not to actually date. Yet I still struggle to believe that good looking men would be interested in me, even though actual experience has proved otherwise. The question is why? Why do we automatically assume that as a bigger woman, thinner woman, taller woman, darker woman, or just anyone who is different from the social contract of beauty that people wont be interested?

Probably because it seems like they aren't. Maybe you'll be passed over time and again for the people around you, or don't seem to be able to find anyone who actually likes you and not your best friend. The amount of times I've had guys be interested in me and then loose interest as soon as they see my best friend. Guys will be so disgusting that they expect me to set them up. With my best friend. Right. I'll get straight on that.

Unfortunately, and I think perhaps this is why dating is so difficult sometimes, we still have a problem where differences are fetishized. Seen as taboo. So a man will lust after a 'dark skinned beauty' but won't admit to his friends that he likes black girls or will search out BBW pornography but will refuse to give a bigger girl the time of day. And as much as this really sucks some major goat balls, its a sad but true fact. The trick is to weed out the one's who'll see you in private but wont admit to dating you and the ones who'll walk proudly down the street with you on their arm.

I found that Internet Dating was pretty much the easiest way to date ever. You have a picture of you on there, you tell them you're a big girl and exactly what you want and while you have a number of guys convinced  they can change your mind, " because they've never dated a black/fat girl before" ( why this is my problem I have no idea, especially since you know 'date' is code for 'sleep with'. Bitch please!) for the most part if they start up a conversation, you know they find you attractive. And, you know, if they turn out to  be a dick you can just block 'em and ghost their nasty asses.

The thing is not everyone wants to Internet date. And I will admit not everyone on these sites is entirely genuine. But to be perfectly honest if you haven't entered this new phase of dating and are still expecting to meet someone in  a bar, I have no sympathy if you complain you can't find anyone that likes you. If you haven't actually used all the avenues available to you and are then going to sit home and mope about how single you are then this post isn't really for you. All I can say is get over yourself and do something about it. If, on the other hand, you've tried blind dates, Internet dates, set up dates and every type of dating under the sun and have still not found someone? Then the following message is for you....

YOU WILL. DON'T WORRY. TAKE A BREATH. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

There are 7 billion  people on the planet. I can guarantee there is someone out there who likes you. However I can understand how constant disappointments can be disheartening. My advice would be to take a step back, take some time to yourself, most times people come into our lives when were not looking for them. And if someone is showing interest be bold! They wouldn't be speaking to you if they weren't interested.

We need to stop asking ourselves why would this guy/girl be interested in us, and ask ourselves why wouldn't they be. Why the hell wouldn't they be? Just because your beauty is different to others doesn't mean you're not beautiful in your own right. We need to be confident in ourselves, confident that we are worth more than pity dates or 'last resorts'.

So forget putting yourself down because I assure you that in your lifetime enough people will do it for you and Just Be...Your Way xx