Healing with Humor: The over-sized enthusiast

Every now and again we experience one of those moments which are so shocking all you can do is that nervous-horrified laughter. Only thing is, its just not funny. Often times these moments come from the people closest to us.

 It's a well known fact that unfortunately friends and family feel they have the right to say hurtful offensive things often under the guise of 'helping' us, I couldn't tell you why they do, but I have tons of stories about people being 'helpful'. 

I've personally found humor to be a great way to remember things that have happened.

From time to time I'll break out one of my own personal experiences, if only to show you all that you're not alone. I'll call them 'Healing with humor'. Here is the first one.

Why. Just Why do ‘kindly’ relatives buy clothes for you 3 sizes too big. Then, when it (surprise surprise) doesn’t fit, they tell you;

“Well if it doesn’t fit now, you’ll just grow into it”

That statement is fine if you’re 8 and the likelihood is you’re going to put on a foot in height, grow boobs and suddenly find you have an ass. In that instance, you more than likely WILL grow into it.

BUT….

When you’re 18 on the other hand, you stopped growing at 14, your boobs aren’t getting any bigger because they’re already big enough and you found that ass and a bit more you didn’t need; Being told you’ll “grow into it” is just insulting.

Like all my stories this actually happened.

So we have me. 18. Not growing any time soon (see above). And my not so kindly step-mother turns up with a present for yours truly. What can it be?! A lovely dress? As I take out this garishly shiny silver dress (why do people think….”oh she’s fat, let’s make this size dress in a disgusting fabric! She’ll love that!) I think… I’m hot. I’m sure I can pull this off; it was nice of her to get it for me, just be grateful. Etc., etc.

 I take a little look-see at the tag and see that it was in a size 26. This wouldn’t have been a problem at all. If I was a size 26, except I wasn’t I was a size 18. Admittedly my ass is 10 inches bigger than my boobs and 22 inches bigger than my waist (gloriously disproportioned I know!). But there is no way my ass at the time was a size 26. I freeze. And think: maybe she didn’t notice that it’s waaay too big and gingerly try it on.

 Obviously it just gaped everywhere. My boobs didn’t even touch the front of the dress (and the girls definitely aren’t small so that’s a feat in itself). I had so much extra fabric around my waist I could have been pregnant and you wouldn’t have noticed. And my ass, my very large ass, which normally announces itself in spectacular fashion in any item of clothing I wear, was nowhere to be seen.

I show my step mum the dress-that-ate-me and she just looks at it and says;

“It’s a little big, but you wouldn’t want it to cling to your fat anyway and you’ll grow into it”

LITTLE BIG??!! It’s EATING me woman!! CLING TO MY FAT?? Don’t look at my fat. My fat is none of your business! In fact go deal with your own fat! And guess what?? I STILL haven’t bloody grown into it!!

Whether someone is being intentionally rude (see story above), or literally just being an idiot don’t take it to heart. Don’t suddenly start to think. Wait. Do I look 3 sizes bigger than I am? What you think about yourself is the most important thing about what you look like. The most important thing is to be happy and content with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 8 or a size 28; don’t let anyone ever make you feel uncomfortable with the way you look. And if they do just tell them to go screw themselves and just be ..your way xxx

GETTING GYM-IFIED

 I personally believe the gym is a torturous activity, sent by Hitler himself, to torment those that hate it with its ridiculous occupants and judgmental

 attitudes.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever said you go to the gym and received that; ‘it doesn’t look like it’ grimace? Or arrived at the gym ready to vanquish that extra bit of weight you just DON’T want on your body, only to be greeted by the sound of the gym mating call? (Typically known by grunts, slapping of hands, pacing and just generally bringing way too much attention to oneself as possible)

So, maybe I’ve never claimed to like the gym, and maybe I've always chosen to go the route of just loving my body instead of changing it. But Guess what? It hasn't been bloody working!!

The time has arrived where to feel good about myself I’m going to have to lose the weight that is weighing me down.Not too say this will be easy. It most certainly will not. But i'm determined.
 Now I can approach the horrors facing me in one of two ways:

1.                          I either face the self-served sentence head on. March my ample ass up those steps and brazenly use that gym like I was born on that blooming treadmill. Or

2.                          (More realistically) start slow. Use my personal cross trainer and allow myself to feel slightly more confident. I then go and march in there like I’m perhaps distantly related to the broken rowing machine in the corner.

 I think personally I’d settled with ‘me’. I wear my weight so well, (and let’s face it. I really do! I’m a sexy slice of pie!!) I didn’t feel the need to address the slight but nagging issues I had with myself. 

Why change what’s not broken right?  I’d tell myself I couldn’t lose the weight because How can I preach body confidence if I’m not always body confident? The answer is simply this.

 Body confidence is not fixed. It is transient. It doesn’t mean I have to accept the things I don’t like, or ‘live with them’ it means feeling beautiful, feeling peace with yourself and your body and taking the necessary healthy steps to make that happen, whether those steps are physical or mental.

So wherever you are, and however you feel, just remember: Just be… Your way xx

 

Loving dat Ass

You've found it. The dress. It’s THE one. The most perfect dress you’ve ever seen. It's the perfect colour. The perfect length and…Would you look at that!? Just your size!
You take it home without trying it on because you KNOW it's going to fit, It's perfect! How could it not?
It's time and you’re strutting down the street “Crazy in Love” by Beyonce is playing in your head.
AND THEN IT HAPPENS.
The scent of the glorious sausage roll calls to your senses and you look over in the window of Greg’s, regretting missing lunch to get that mani-pedi, and you see it. The back of your skirt is 5 inches above the front.
As you’ve been strutting your stuff, everyone you've passed has gotten a massive, glorious eyeful of your thighs.
Why?
You. Have. A. Massive. Ass
No! Don’t stop reading. It’s true. Here at Just be your way I always deal in the absolute truth and the thing is. You got some serious junk in that trunk.
It's okay! So do I .
In fact yours truly even has-what we affectionately call; a shelf. I hate my shelf.
It’s not part of my butt but it’s really not part of my back, it’s that little bit ( okay big bit) of fat that just makes my clothes fit wrong.
Thing is, while everyone has parts of their body they either like or dislike, often times the “bootay” is the part most of us have a love/ hate relationship with. Now, this could either be because we feel we don’t have enough of it or we feel we have too much. But dwelling on how much we hate a certain part of our bodies accomplishes nothing. However ‘love your body’ is easier said than done. Right.
But guess what?
You don't have to be hatin’.
There are several ways you can fall in love with your be-donk-a-donk without butt implants or lipo-suction, and they go as follows;

For the sake of hilarity let’s have our 4 points spell out BUTT.

1. Become Content. There are always going to be people who want what you have. And at times you'll want what someone else has. But the fact is you don't have it. Contentment affords you what few people have and that's peace with yourself. The constant stress and worry that you do/don't have what you shouldn't/should have will slowly drive you mad. It's litterally no way to live your life.
2. Use what's available. You seriously don't have to just live with your natural ass. Ever heard of 'spanks'? Accepting your body doesn't mean you can't just display it in its best light. Whether your lifting it up or squishing it down its still YOUR ass.
3. Take control. Whether it's of your body or of your mind. You have two options; accept what you have and learn to love yourself, thus taking control of your mind. Or take control of your body and make the changes you want. While I personally think the gym was a present from Satan, some people love it!
4.Take the time. Whether it's taking time to go to the gym or taking time to learn to love yourself as you are, it's not going to be easy. It's not going to happen overnight. Accept that and don't become disheartened. It will happen!!

SO in conclusion my friends, the facts are these. Whether you're a size 10 or a size 28. Love dat blooming ass!! And remember....Just be...Your Way xx