Skin Deep Discussions

My boyfriend was taking some pictures of me the other day for my Instagram.

As is often the case, I wasn’t happy with the way the photos  seemed to make my double chin look like I’d swallowed an entire bag or marshmallows, and was hoarding them in my cheeks and jawline in case of an apocalypse.
Obviously I sent him up a step to retake them from a higher angle, and voila! A jawline!
After many assurances that he thought I looked great in all the pictures, he asked: why. if I’m trying to promote body confidence, I would be hiding my ‘imperfections’.

And I realised.

As much as the question itself is really dumb, he wasn’t asking from maliciousness. I know he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful.
However he, like much of the world have been sucked into this Ideology that if you want to promote self-confidence you have to promote the bits about yourself you don’t like.  It suggests a concept where we have to almost prove we really are confident by portraying ourselves in a bad light.

Obviously that's one of the stupidest things anyone has ever heard. But the fact of the matter is, it seems to be a common idea.

It doesn’t even just apply to size. This isn’t just a rant about how hard it is for plus size women to take a good picture without being criticized. Body confidence isn’t just about how much you weigh or the number on the label of your clothes.  I want to make it clear that this isn't just a plus size blog, it's a body confidence blog, which means I address anything and everything that makes people feel less confident about themselves.

One huge huge thing is skin. It's something we all have, however its easy to feel insecure in a society that preaches 'clear skin equals beauty'. You don't see Meredith Grey worrying about her acne scars do you? I can't actually remember the last time I saw Kim Kardashians clear make-up free face. On the other hand when a celebrity dares to go out without perfectly contoured cheek bones there's tonnes of speculations about whether they are sick or on drugs!

I recently saw a video made by the blogger from My Pale Skin, in her video she addresses comments made about how she looked without make up by putting on a full face of makeup. What I found amazing and completely disgusting is how horrid the comments were to her natural face. Words like ‘ugly’ ‘disgusting’ and ‘horrible’ were used.

However, and this is my point, once she had the make up on it wasn’t all compliments and chocolate. She was then criticised for wearing too much make up!! She was called ‘false’ ‘misleading’ .

 The question is; can we ever win? Portraying ourselves in the best light either makes us fake and misleading and not really body confident because we're not being truthful about ourselves. Or it makes us deluded, as if were lying to ourselves about what we actually look like.

Both of those opinions are absolute bollocks. Thing is Until Society itself changes its unrealistic ideas about beauty there will always be problems. Until Disney, Barbie and a whole host of media outlets stop telling our little girls and boys that if you don't look like a fairy tale princess, you are ugly, people will continue to grow up with these insecurities

All I can suggest is in the words of Kevin hart is " Do You Boo-Boo. And I'ma do me."  And remember to Just Be... Your Way xxx