Nothing glamorous just a good old cheeseburger, I throw on clothes, didn't even bother with a bra, and draped myself with a huge scarf and cape (to hide my bra-less boobs of course)
Not even 1 minute into my journey I see two men walking towards me on the same side of the street. As they approach I instinctively look at my phone and walk faster (probably the most go-to response for most women today).
One of the men as I'm approaching calls out:
"Hey baby, nice body" and proceeds to staaaaare at my chest and ass as I walk past.
I didn't reply, I had a burger that needed my time and attention, but it made me think.
Am I interested in this man? No.
Did I give any indication I wanted his opinion on my body? Nope.
Would he have ever done the same thing had my boyfriend been walking with me? Nope again.
And.
Why the hell did I not give this guy a piece of my mind!?
What he said was inappropriate and uninvited however I did nothing, I just put my head down and hustled off.
Why?
Because I'm used to it.
I have received a stupidly large amount of men's opinions of my body during my lifetime. Starting, as is often the case, with my father, progressing to boys at school and settling to what I receive today, opinions being administered just randomly in the street.
I've had whistles. comments, insults, 'compliments', been followed, had my number been demanded from me, even been grabbed.
The problem is for some reason when it happens to a 'big' girl its not seen as offensive as if it happened to a small petite girl. Is this because people feel we can 'handle' ourselves because we're bigger? That no-one is really going to do anything because they could 'easily pick someone better' or perhaps that we should be grateful that someone actually finds us attractive?
Every now and again the subject of cat calling will pop up here or there, usually in relation to some sort of attack where sexual discrimination is prevalent. Most recently the spate of sexual attacks in Germany. But people rarely put any focus on the everyday problems women in general face.
They choose to believe that its just these random acts of sexual violence, placing any blame they can except the way society has moulded boys and men to think they have the right to an opinion on our bodies. In the case of Germany it's refugees, apparently its all the refugees who are sexual deviants, of course it couldn't be that they are just trying to escape a war torn country and be safe.
I even had one idiot actually tell me that ' well you don't see English or European people grabbing girls in the street' EXCUSE ME!!?? Are you mentally deficient!?
More recently there have been a few social media campaigns exposing schools who instead of expecting their young men to have respect and control have imposed ridiculous dress codes. Once again placing the blame on the girl who showed her shoulders rather than on the man who grabbed her ass. We need more campaigns like this to bring to light the unfairness of it all.
What I don't understand is why we are supposed to be flattered? Why should I be flattered that a man I don't know decided to call out that he liked my 'fat ass' and could show me how a 'real man handles a big woman'. And I definitely don't understand why I especially should be flattered. Did I somehow give the impression that because of my size I was specifically needing this mans 'compliment'.
If a woman is not seen as classically beautiful by todays standards, and that's not just referring to size, height, skin colour, ethnicity, style of dress, anything that is slightly different, we are expected to feel grateful that someone actually found us attractive enough to comment on it.
I'm calling bullshit.
Men need to stop. As a woman our worth is not based on the opinion of a man in the street. To all my readers both men and women its quite clear something needs to change. I guess the question is when. With all the movements and media campaigns I'm sure we're all hoping its very very soon.
So if you have personal experience with cat-calling or even just any experience with sexual discrimination, just know you don't have to be flattered you don't have to accept 'boys will be boys' or 'men just can't control themselves', my advice would be to give everyone who says it a big old screw-you and Just Be...Your Way xxx
A little help in how to shut down catcallers courtesy of Buzzfeed!!
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